When Things Don’t Go My Way…

My ‘Creative Everyday’ hasn’t been so wonderful this week. I’ve been easily distracted and if I’m telling the truth – I haven’t been as diligent as I wanted to be in creating something everyday.

My reason for this is as follows: It keeps going wrong. I am one of those people who like perfection. I like to smash it first time, and if it doesn’t turn out the way it started in my head – it’s not getting finished and I’m in a sulk. Here lies one of my nastiest demons! It is a demon that I struggle to over come. My bestest weapons against my nasty little monster are chanting my mantra ‘carry on creating’, and my wonderful friend Sally who knows me so well and would never let me give up.

I tried a new crochet ring that went belly up… I can see how I could improve it next time and what I would do differently, but I am in a sulk with it and haven’t been able to pick my crochet hook back up yet. I tried to write a new story, it went down a deadend – I deleted it. Having found too many bubbles in my last batch of resin I haven’t yet cut out new shapes… oh, and my beautiful little seedlings have gone all ‘leggy’ from lack of strong enough light. I re-potted them in a stonking mood, but I’m not sure that will help them at all.

The one thing that I am not in a mood with is my Lindy Hop.

I’m still loving dancing. (This picture was taken at Hullzapoppin’ last weekend – I am the one in the gold).

I recently watched a clip of me teaching a dance workshop last year and couldn’t put my finger on what I didn’t like about my dancing. Then I realised that I wasn’t using my core at all.

In a recent dance class that I attended we worked on how EVERYTHING comes from the core. A leg movement, an arm lift. They only happen if your core moves too and then you can accentuate the natural movement. I am a naturally lazy mover and hate feeling my stomach muscles working. However, this new insight into how much better a movement looks when it comes from the very centre of you is something I am taking to heart. If you mean it, if it comes from your centre, the very core of your being other, better things are going to follow. You can accentuate your natural actions and improve them.

I am applying this to my craft and writing. I do it naturally. Wanting to create comes from inside; I just have to go with it and make sure it comes from that place and not my ego, which is like a limb, not too stylish or useful without the meaning behind it… if that tenuous link makes sense to anyone but me 🙂

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4 thoughts on “When Things Don’t Go My Way…

  1. Sounds like you’re saying that the part of you that wants to create no matter what is like your core, and the ego part that wants everything to be perfect is like your arms and legs waving around. I think that’s a very nice metaphor, and very true.

    I’m a perfectionist too, and what helps is if I intentionally set out to make whatever I’m working on turn out, not sloppy I guess, but… wabi-sabi. You know? Sometimes that’s the only way I can get anything done!

    • I’m glad that metaphor made sense to someone other than me – yes that is exactly what I meant.
      I think I need to work on having your attitude more – I’d certainly get more enjoyment out of creating things and feel more free to experiment.

  2. Oh, also wanted to say – in the picture, I see a lot of weird and painful-looking knee positioning, but your leg alignment is perfect 🙂

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