Let’s Start Again

Muddy boots

I’ve moved all the way down south and am living right next to the sea in the quirky town of Hastings. My life seems to have been turned upside down and all topsy turvy… I’ve chosen to look at this recent turn of events like someone has waved a magic wand over my life and said, “do what really makes you happy – have whatever you want. Start again.”

Apart from the odd bout of extreme homesickness and missing my friends and family terribly, I am incredibly lucky. I live with a man I love completely (sick buckets at the ready I know), in a cosy flat and there isn’t a huge amount of pressure for me to start earning a wage right away. I have the luxury of being able to have a go at building a life and having a lifestyle that I truly desire… so how do you go about deciding what that is? When you have so much choice how do you settle and stick at one thing?

I’ve decided that embracing life with a whole heart is the way forward. Focus on being happy in the present moment and the rest can’t be too far behind.

Here begins my rebuilding, redesigning, a brand new chapter.

Space Can Only Be A Good Thing

Just back from Paris with my beautiful man and am feeling pretty good. Having space away from everydayness has been wonderful.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned before but I’m a Student Support Officer in a sixth from college (basically pastoral and welfare support). I love my job. I love people, problems and the rawness of life that I see. It provides an awful lot of inspiration. I get paid to talk; seriously, that’s what I do all day. And whilst I adore working, and need to have a ‘day job’ to function properly, the emotional impact of what I see and hear on a day to day basis can take it’s toll more than I’ve realised. I don’t always feel like coming home and thinking. Period.

I’m now in Hastings and have blocked out everyone and everything else. I love these times. Being in a long distance relationship is hard, but the mini-holidays are a blessing. Every cloud.

I’ve got a lot going on back home. Work, family, evening course in counselling, theatre rehearsals, long-distance relationship, dance classes, friends. All are wonderful and I’m very grateful to have the things that I do have, but I really haven’t been dedicated to making time in my life to write as much as I want to. Discipline is something that I’m certainly lacking (and always have). Structure and routine are about to make a bit of a comeback in my life!

I want to have a collection of short stories. I want to enter more competitions and see where that takes me. My main problem is that I’m easily distracted. When I’m writing stories I want to be making jewelry; when I’m making jewelry I want to be blogging; when I’m blogging I want to be performing and rehearsing; when I’m rehearsing I want to be making art and researching. You get the picture, and aren’t we all guilty of this? Especially people who are creative, our minds flit and are stimulated all at once but rarely settle. Mine needs to settle now.

So here’s the plan: No more angst. No more procrastinating or splitting my attention. I’m turning up every week and will sit down and write something. I figure the habit of writing is harder to cultivate than the skill of writing. Being realistic, I have very limited time. I don’t create too well if I know I’m going to have to stop and go somewhere else soon. Tuesday nights are the only night I’m in at the moment. I always feel guilted into seeing a friend or doing something on that night. But now they’re mine.

Wednesdays are rehearsals – so I get my performance fix. Jewelry can take a back seat for now I think.